Swanage – by Royal Appointment June 2015
One was wondering what to do for the Bank Holiday weekend. One had spent all week fondling with one’s Velocettes, ensuring they were in imperfect working order and guaranteed to breakdown before reaching Windsor. One was also keen to get away from one’s palace before the arrival of one’s latest great-grandchild. Then one remembered what one’s loyal subject Robert MBE had said about the Oread Mountaineering Club …
The forecast for Saturday was poor, with high winds and the possibility of rain later. Lord Motivator of Southall suggested that Winspit was supposed to be sheltered and would provide the possibility of easy escape should the rain come. One could only concur.
One imagines that most of the Oread know Winspit well, but in case they don’t, it’s an old quarry a little way above the sea, split in two by a small valley. The guidebook suggests that Quarryman’s Wall was the most likely to be sheltered in windy conditions, so that was where one headed. Sure enough, it was as sheltered as promised, but when one poked one’s head around the corner to the south face, one felt one would lose one’s crown!
Lord Motivator was as keen as ever, straight onto a 6a, and then another, to complete the warm up. He had his eye on a couple of classic 6a+s. Stonemason was a steep crack line, mostly well endowed with jugs and a few jams towards the top. The bolting seemed sparse from the bottom, but in practice, the spacing was about right – one didn’t want to have to stop to clip too much.
Unseen Ripples of the Pebble was an even steeper proposition at the same grade, a layback crack up an overhanging corner. Luckily there were plenty of opportunities to bridge and take the weight off one’s arms. Despite that, one didn’t show the necessary commitment and had a few sneaky rests. (French style, according to Lord Motivator. One may have to consider giving him a holiday in the Tower.)
By now, Lord Motivator was ready for something harder, such as the “6b” to the left, Jargon Eater. One’s more modern guidebook graded it 6c, but one doesn’t like to be discouraging. Lord M. had an admirable attempt, but the crux stopped him first time round. He managed it second go, after a short rest, which is more than one can say for one.
That seemed to feed Lord Motivator’s rat. A few more, easier, routes to keep the numbers up and explore the windy parts of the crag and it was time to retire to the pub, where one could sample the local apple juice.
Sunday started wet. One must have a word with one’s forecasters. Still, they did seem to suggest a sunnier afternoon, so after luncheon at the Castle, a party set off for Boulder Ruckle. My Ladies Wislon and Pape decided that cliff-top walks in the bracing sea air were a better option.
Lightening Wall was deemed a suitable warm-up, and one volunteered to lead. One feels that one managed it in reasonable style. The crux was a little damp, but the traverse that followed was really delightful. The belay at the top was definitely bracing. Then it was back down for a second route. Lord Motivator had his beady eye on Elysium for his first trad lead of the year. He made of a fine job of it, despite some dampness and comedy ropework around the halfway break.
It was still bracing at the top, so the party decided that there was only so much fun one could take and retreated to the metal tents. The evening was spent sampling the contents of Lord Motivator’s van cellar. Whilst not a patch on the cellar at Sandringham, it certainly stands good comparison with Balmoral – and his van was considerably less draughty.
Monday was sunny! Windy as well, but definitely sunny. Lord Motivator had business at the west of Boulder Ruckle, whilst one had designs on Isis (VS **) and Eskimo Nell (E1 *) at Cattle Troughs. So it was decided to warm-up at Cattle Troughs before moving into the Ruckle.
Cattle Troughs was busy, but only on the easier routes. Isis and Eskimo Nell were free. We soon discovered why when a large wave washed over the stance at the bottom of both routes. Lord Motivator declined the opportunity to get wet; he thought one could start Eskimo Nell from the left. He was not wrong, but one did get the feeling that one’s gear would simply unzip if one fell off. And so to the Ruckle …
Lord M had his eye on Ocean Boulevard, described as one of the best E3s in one’s realm. “Only” 5b climbing, it claimed to have good gear. What’s not to like? Abseiling in, the challenge soon became apparent. The wall was continually overhanging up to the halfway break – above that it was merely vertical. The line of Ocean Boulevard was obvious – a stunning crackline leading up to the break. There was even a throne for one to belay from! Lord Motivator made quick work of the crack. He had to really, even his arms could hang around too long on that sort of ground.
The pro seemed a plentiful as promised and he seemed to find a crouched rest at the halfway break. Then things got interesting. The crackline had faded out. There were holds leading straight up, but they soon ran out. The guidebook suggested going slightly right, and holds led that way too. Up he went, tried a few moves, then back down to where he could rest. Back up to fiddle some more gear in, then back down to rest. Up for another look, back down for another rest. His arms were obviously burning, but he was using all his nous to get the onsight. Back up again, a bit further this time. Then he moving left and up, faster now as the ground got easier. “Safe”. Maybe that trip to the Tower will have to wait.
One’s thanks to the Lords and Ladies who accompanied one. One must now see if Philip has any relatives in Kalymnos …
E.R. (Photographs by Lord Wislon of Lumsdale).